When You Break A TV: Night 3
by Ogreatrandom
Summary: When Maggie broke her tv set she didn't just lose a treasured item, she found herself stuck in a new movie each night. This is the third night of her punnishment. You don't have to have read the previous two stories though. Please review! Now complete!
1. Cruel And Unusual Punnishment

_**Author's Note:**_

_Poor Maggie broke her television set and as a result is cursed. She must go through one movie a night for seven nights. This is the third. Before this she's gone through Princess Bride and Pirates of the Caribbean. You don't really have to read them to understand the story. In fact while in the dream Maggie doesn't technically know it's a dream so it won't make a difference what happened before._

_If you did read the other ones thank you very much and I'm glad you've followed the story here._

_**Previously:**_

_Philo Farnsworth appeared in front of me._

_"Nooooooooo!" I screamed as everyone else disappeared._

_"Sorry," he said, not looking very sorry at all, "but it's time for your next movie."_

_"Oh joy," I sighed._

_"I knew you'd be pleased," he smiled._

_"I hate you."_

_"I know."_

_"I have a question. How come in Princess Bride I knew how to fight and sail and in Pirates of the Caribbean I couldn't do anything?"_

_"It's simple," he answered, "in Pirates of the Caribbean you were just a maid. In Princess Bride you were a sailor who could fight. You'll be able to fight this time to."_

_"Where am I going?"_

_"You're going to Troy. As a soldier."_

_"Oh my god," I gasped feeling my knees go weak, "you have to be kidding."_

_"One," he answered, "I never kid, and two, it's Zeus or another god there. There's more then one." I looked down and saw that I was wearing the uniform of a soldier. "You've gotten through the last two movies too easily. Living through the movie is supposed to be a challenge."_

_"I don't think women were soldiers in ancient Greece."_

_"They weren't but this is a dream so anything can happen."_

**Chapter #1:**

I woke up with a start and looked around. For a second I couldn't remember where I was. Then it all came back to me. Achilles had put me on guard duty while he and his younger cousin practiced their sword fighting.

Looking around for what had woken me up I could see a group of men on horseback riding up.

Achilles was going to kill me for falling asleep and not noticing that people were approaching.

Just then Achilles and his cousin came over to me, still fighting as they came.

"I swear I was just about to come warn you," I told him as he grabbed one of his spears.

"Sure you were," he said in a surprisingly calm voice as he threw the spear. If I hadn't been laying down on the ground it would have gone right through my head!

It occurred to me that for once my laziness had paid off in my favor.

"Be careful, you nearly hit me with a spear!" I cried standing up and quickly standing behind a column in case he decided to throw another spear.

"If I'd wanted to hit you I would have," Achilles informed me in a smug voice (rubbing in the fact that he was way better with a spear then me), "this time I wasn't trying to hit you." I looked over at the guy who the spear would have hit if a tree hadn't blocking him.

"What did he ever do to you?" I asked.

"He's a good friend," he answered. We watched as the man pulled the spear out of the tree.

"I'd hate to see how you greet enemies," I remarked, "you could have killed him with that spear."

"He wasn't aiming for his friend," Patroclus informed me haughtily.

"He could have missed," I argued, "then he would be minus one friend." I privately thought that since Achilles had so few friends it would make the loss all the more serious.

"Achilles never misses!"

"Enough chatter," the warrior in question said to us, "go back to guarding Maggie. Or at least pretending to guard." Insulted I stalked away as I heard the man coming up.

"Your reputation for hospitality is fast becoming legend," the man quipped as he approached.

It was a while later that Patroclus came over to me. He sat down on the ground and shook me awake.

"I wasn't sleeping," I told him in what I hoped was an off-hand voice.

"Of course you weren't," he smiled then a second later he frowned looking serious.

"Maggie," he said, "we're going to war."

I think that's when I fainted. Patroclus claimed I fell asleep, but I definitely fainted.


	2. Immortality And Lost Bets

**Author's Note:**

_Thanks so much for coming back to read the second chapter! This is the first of many, many apologies I will give for taking a long time to update. This time I have a really good excuse though. Our internet has been out and then I got a new laptop but couldn't figure out how to get it on the internet. Finally when a friend took a look at it he pointed out that I had to turn the wireless internet switch to the on position to get wireless internet service. Boy, did I feel dumb._

_Anyway thank you to everyone who read and especially to those who reviewed. Hope you enjoy this chapter!_

**Chapter #2:**

And thus we, Achilles and his Myrmidon army, began the long boat trip to Troy so we could fight our war. Or at least we were going to fight someone's war, I was a little fuzzy on the details of the whole thing.

By the end of the sea voyage I had become the most skilled complainer you could have ever met. I mean, I'm not exaggerating or anything.

When Achilles or one of the other men told stories I would tell them how an unnecessary concentration on violence and a hard to follow plotline made their stories the worst I'd ever heard. When they fed us I would only be able to roll my eyes, sigh, and rant loudly on how the food on this little cruise was going to kill me faster then any arrow and how we should just throw our food over their big walls and the war would be over.

And so by the end of the third day Achilles had practically banned me from talking in his presence.

But could anyone really, really blame me for being so un-enthusiastic? Look at it this way, after this charming sea voyage (where the rocking of the waves made me empty my stomach over the deck after every meal) we got to go to a war where the chances of us surviving are like one in a huge number.

Yes, it's true. I get sea sick. My guess is that if the brains in half of the men were as large as the rest of their muscles then perhaps they would have come up with a fun nickname for me. Luckily for me they just weren't that bright.

That's why I was glad to see the land on the horizon, even though I knew I could easily die fighting there. How screwed up is that?

As we got closer to the land the fifty of us in Achilles' command got our armor on and our weapons at the ready. But even though seeing the land was making my stomach very happy it wasn't making me feel reassured about the battle to come.

The city was huge! It was made of a light brown, heavy rock that looked unbreakable. I could just hear a bell alerting them of our arrival and shouts from within the city. And the whole, sprawling thing was enclosed by The Wall. The Wall could easily win the award for world's largest wall. And I didn't see any convenient signs that proclaimed, "Visitors Are Welcome To Enter Here". Even the beach was fortified with soldiers standing ready to fight us.

As the other ships in the fleet dropped back Achilles ordered the rowers to keep going. I found this odd and a little terrifying so I hovered near him deciding whether I'm brave enough to talk to him.

Of course I'm not brave enough to ask him! But as it turns out I didn't have to. Eudorus, his right hand man, came up to him.

"Should we wait for the others?" He asked looking a little nervous.

"They brought us here for war, didn't they?" Achilles answered Eudorus' question with one of his own over his shoulder as he stared longingly at the beach.

"Exactly," I burst out, "they brought us here for war. And despite their numerous similarities war is not suicide."

"But what of Agamemnon's orders?" Eudorus pointed out.

"Exactly!" I exclaimed, "We have to follow orders. After all, we are soldiers and that's what they do, follow orders."

"You fight for me or Agamemnon?" Achilles asked us. I decided to let Eudorus answer since it sounded too much like a trick question.

"For you, my lord."

"Exactly what I was about to say," I assured him.

"Then fight for me," Achilles told us looking us in the eyes, "and let the servants of Agamemnon fight for him." Then he turned back to look out at Troy.

"His stupid servants are going to outlive all of us," I shouted at Achilles' back, "there are only fifty of us! I have a pretty good feeling that there are more then fifty Trojans waiting for us on that beach. I'd bet gold on it!" But he ignored me. So I gave up and went to pick up my weapons.

I noticed Achilles call Patroclus over to talk to him. Afterward Patroclus threw his weapons down angrily. All I could think was, "great now we have forty nine soldiers." And just as we loose one fighter I could see a whole fresh wave of Trojan soldiers adding to the number already on the beach.

"Myrmidons," Achilles called and we all moved closer. "my brothers of the sword. I'd rather fight beside you than any army of thousands."

Thus confirming that he was certifiably suicidal.

We all beat our spears down on the floor of the boat and then Achilles continued, "Let no man forget how menacing we are. We are lions!" We all beat our spears rapidly and chanted. "Do you know what's there, waiting, beyond that beach?"

"Something tells me it's not sanity, free food, or a brand new chariot," I whispered to Eudorus who ignored me.

"Immortality!" Achilles shouted passionately. "Take it! It's yours!" And we all cheered and whooped while banging our spears even harder. Was I really the only one concerned that we were all going to die?

"I don't want immortality," I informed Achilles in an effort to escape, "can I stay on the boat?"

"No," he answered bluntly.

"Hey," I shrugged, "it was worth a try." Achilles just put his helmet on. And then our boat, ship, whatever, slid up onto the sand. In a second everything erupted into pandemonium.

We all jumped off the boat and into the water as flaming arrows, a little welcome present from the Trojans, rained down around us. In a few minutes about one fifth of our whole force was down.

"Dear Zeus," I said as I dodged a flaming arrow and held my shield up, "I know I haven't been by the temple recently. Things have just been a little busy. But if I survive this I promise I'll stop by a few times."

As a fresh sprinkle of deadly arrows fell on top of us I managed to get onto dry sand that wasn't covered in bodies. Way out in front of me I saw Achilles kneel down in the sand.

"Form up!" He shouted at us. With a roar all the surviving members of our little war club rush to join Achilles.

"This is where more men would make a big difference," I mentioned to Achilles as we all joined together to form a giant shield. Under the giant shield we are protected from the enemy arrows. In unison we all march forward, getting closer and closer to the Trojans front line.

Personally I would rather be moving away from them but it wasn't up to me.

"On my command!" Achilles told us. Now the Trojans were trying to throw spears at us but even their spears couldn't get through our giant shield. A few people move their shields and allow one of us to shout an arrow out at the Trojans. We all hear the soldier he'd hit cry out.

"Break off! Break off!" Eudorus said. And then we all broke out of our shield formation and charged the Trojans with war cries.

I slammed my shield into the first guy I reached and he fell as I hacked at an archer with my sword. I spun away to avoid a spear and almost got hit by an arrow. In my haste to dodge the arrow I practically tripped over another Trojan soldier.

Remembering that I was wearing a nifty helmet I head-butted the guy and he stumbles back far enough for me to slice at him with my sword. A desperate Trojan archer smashes his bow into my face and I drop my sword to grab the bow from him.

Looking back that was a dumb thing to do. A Trojan soldier with a sword ran at me. I tackled the guy using my shield.

"This isn't wrestling Maggie," Eudorus shouted throwing me my sword. He looked happy even though he could die at any second. I guessed that it took a lot of inner peace to achieve that. Or maybe he just wasn't as smart as I thought he was.

And then all of the sudden the battle seemed a lot bigger. From what I could tell from in between fighting there was good news and bad news. The good news was that another Greek ship, (obviously someone with suicidal tendencies), had landed on the beach. The bad news was that another group of Trojans, these ones riding horses, were streaming into the fight.

I heard Achilles shouting something though unfortunately I couldn't quite hear him. But I noticed all the other Myrmidons heading in one direction so I followed them. The surface under our feet changed from sand to stone stairs.

Going up the first few stairs I tripped. Just as I hit the stone I felt the air above me stir letting me know that an arrow had just missed me. First my laziness was saving me and now it was my clumsiness.

Before I could get up a Trojan soldier with a spear came at me. They stabbed but I rolled out of the way. As I got up I trapped their spear under my foot and stabbed them. In the distance I hear the Greek soldiers still on the boats chanting a name over and over again.

For a second I thought it was my name and then reality set in and I realized they were saying, "Achilles! Achilles! Achilles!"

It made me feel very sad. And I told Achilles so as I reached him on the stairs.

"Concentrate on the fight," he grunted as he sliced through a soldier who was about to kill me and then in the same movement used the sword in his other hand to take out the guy about to kill him.

"How come you get two swords?" Achilles ignores me except to kill the last Trojan soldier on the steps. Then he removed his helmet.

"The sun god is a patron of Troy," he told us, "our enemy. Take whatever treasure you can find." So by taking some gold I was obeying Achilles, making myself richer, and keeping my promise to visit temples all in one go.

"With your permission my lord," Eudorus said as he came up and I stopped to hear what he had to say.

"Speak," Achilles answered finally.

"Apollo sees everything," he told Achilles, "perhaps it is not wise to offend him." Achilles responded by slicing the head off an Apollo statue. Eudorus stared at the severed head in shock.

"Now," I pointed out to him, "it won't matter what we do. Chopping off that head is much worse then stealing." Just then thundering hoof beats announced more Trojan soldiers. "Aw come on," I moaned.

"Warn the men," Achilles told us. But before either of us could move he said, "Wait." Then he took Eudorus' spear.

"You can't possibly hit one of those guys from here," I chuckled, "they're too far away. I'd bet a pouch of gold on it."

"Deal," Achilles said confidently, "which one?"

"The front rider on the right," I said with equal confidence.

A second later the guy was laying in the sand with a spear poking out of him and I was out a pouch of gold.


	3. Why Are We Here Again?

_**Author's Note:**_

_Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, I know it's taken me a while to update but I'm trying to update more frequently now. I've just been working out ways to get Maggie in more of the story. But I think I know what I'm doing now. Anyway I'll post the next chapter over the weekend. That's why it's such a short chapter._

**Chapter #3:**

We all hid in the temple out of sight, waiting for the Trojans to come through the door.

"They aren't going to fall for this," I muttered to Eudorus, "there's no way that the Trojan army is that dumb."

"Shush," Achilles commanded as he walked past us, "get ready." I rolled my eyes but gripped my sword tighter anyway.

Then, to my great surprise it turned out that this particular group of Trojan soldiers was that dumb. They walked right into our waiting weapons. We poured out of our hiding spots with war cries and began hacking. The Trojan soldier who had led them in was very good however and slashed his way after Achilles who had left the room. The rest of the Trojan soldiers, however were either defeated and killed by us or retreated to rejoin their ranks.

Once we had won we ran out to see how Achilles and the leader of the Trojan soldiers were faring. I was shocked to find that not only was the Trojan guy not dead, the two weren't even fighting. Instead they were chatting.

"Go home prince," Achilles sighed, "drink some wine, make love to your wife. Tomorrow we'll have our war."

"And this guy will be too hung-over to fight," I whispered to Eudorus, "Achilles is smarted then I though he was…" But the Trojan leader was not leaving, which was pretty stupid since Achilles was allowing him to walk away without a scratch.

"You speak of war as if it is a game," he sounded disgusted as he said it. I didn't want to say anything but I'd always felt that Achilles was a little too calm about the idea of war and dying in a war. But the man wasn't done talking so I didn't have time to mention any of this to Eudorus. "How many wives wait at Troy's gates for husbands they'll never see again?"

"I'm starting to feel guilty," I mentioned to Eudorus.

"Stop talking to me," the soldier grunted. I sniffed and turned away, I can take a hint.

"Perhaps your brother can comfort them," Achilles suggested, "I hear he's good at charming other men's wives."

"Ouch," I chuckled. The man glared over at me and I pointed to Eudorus, "He did it," I accused, his mouth dropped open and he glared at me. Achilles made a shooing noise and the leader of the Trojan soldiers stalked away.

"My lord, you let him go?" Eudorus asked.

"It's too early in the day for killing princes," he answered watching the other man get on his horse and ride off.

"I didn't know there were rules about that sort of thing," I mused, "Was he really a prince?"

"He's Hector, prince of Troy," Achilles told me wiping his sword off, "his brother is the one that stole away Menelaus of Sparta's wife Helen."

"Oh… wait what?"

"Don't you know why we're here?" Achilles asked giving me a frustrated look.

"Because you want to prove that you're the best killer in the world?" I guessed.

"We're here so Menelaus of Sparta can get back his wife," he answered shortly before walking away.

"That's a stupid reason to have a war!" I called after him. In the distance I could hear Greek soldiers shouting Achilles, over and over again.

"Why doesn't anyone ever cheer my name?" I asked Eudorus.

"Just help me load up some of this gold," he said ignoring my question.


	4. Achilles vs Agamemnon

_**Author's Note:**_

_Thank you very much to the people who reviewed the last chapter! I hope that you guys enjoy this chapter, I could use some suggestions for what to do next._

**Chapter #4:**

A few hours later we were all setting up camp of the beach of Troy. It was really rather nice. Well, you know, except for the fact that I almost died there that morning. And the fact that Achilles kept making us work.

I had spent the last few hours converting ships into big tents and helping to unload the ship. I had tried to hang out with Patroclus but he was still sulking because Achilles had made him sit out the battle so I left him on his own after only a few minutes.

I hadn't seen Eudorus for a while, I got the strong suspicion that he was annoyed with me.

After a while I decided that I deserved a break from working and took a nap on the beach. It was really comfortable and I fell asleep in no time.

It was night when I woke up. But I didn't wake up gently. Someone stepped on me and I looked up to see Achilles. He was ranting and raving fiercely.

"What's wrong?" I asked curious.

"Stupid Agamemnon," he managed through clenched teeth, "thinks he's the gods gift to the nation of Greece. Always acting so big when he couldn't survive a day on his own talent…"

This went on for a while, the language becoming cruder and the insults more stabbing and, well, insulting. I stored some of the more inventive ones away for later use. Achilles was really ripping into the guy. He touched on his intelligence, skill, manliness, and appearance each with more and more vehemence. During the whole rant he went from pacing, chucking stones at the ocean, attacking a nearby tent pole with his fist, and kicking some logs that were stacked near a fire. Finally he wrapped up his speech.

"If he thinks that he can finish this war without me then I'll give him that very opportunity. Until he apologizes and admits that he needs me the Myrmidons will stay out of Agamemnon's war!"

Of course none of us thought that he was serious. After all, Achilles loved war! But sure enough, when the soldiers began moving out the next day Achilles sat stubbornly in his tent.

"He's still not out?" Eudorus asked Patroclus and I as he came over to Achilles' tent. I shook my head. "Let's try again," he suggested. Patroclus and I followed him into Achilles' tent. "My lord," he began nervously, "the army is marching."

"Let them march," he answered, "we stay."

"But the men are ready," Eudorus argued.

"We stay till Agamemnon groans to have Achilles back," Achilles yelled.

"As you wish," Eudorus answered.

"I think he's been drinking," I whispered to the other two.

"Enough Maggie," he snapped. How he could hear me even though I was whispering was a mystery to me. Eudorus and I left the tent while Patroclus stayed behind.

"Oh darn," I said sarcastically to him, "we don't get to risk our lives in battle today. I am so incredibly bummed."

"You are a horrible soldier," he remarked.

"I never claimed otherwise," I laughed and he rolled his eyes. Patroclus emerged from the tent.

"He's not going to change his mind," he informed us.

"Well then," I grinned, "let's get some snacks and find a good place to watch the battle!" The two men looked incredulous for a minute and then shrugged at each other and followed me.


	5. Watching The Battle

**Author's Note:**

Hey! This chapter was a little hard to write as Maggie wasn't actually in the battle. I kind of wanted her to be but I couldn't come up with an excuse to get her there. But she'll definitely be in the next one. It'll probably be two chapters from now.

Anyway thanks to everyone who reviewed! They were all really great and I appreciated them all! I hope you all like this chapter too!

**Chapter #5:**

Eudorus, Patroclus, and I found seats on top of a small hill near our camp. There hadn't been much by way of snacks but we made do. Patroclus had even managed to snitch some of his cousin's wine, for which I was very grateful. Eudorus shot us disapproving looks but did nothing to stop us.

Both armies were facing each other by our second goblet of wine. The Trojans lined up in front of their great walled city and the Greeks closer to us. Before long many other Myrmidons had joined us on the hill to watch the fight. We could see everything surprisingly well from our hill. A small group of Greeks rode out on their chariots to meet a small group of Trojans close to the middle of the battlefield. I recognized Agamemnon, his brother Menelaus, Nestor who was Agamemnon's advisor, and two kings: Ajax and Odysseus. Squinting out at the small group of Trojans I recognized the man who had led the group of Trojans we'd defeated in the temple.

"Isn't that Prince Hector?" I asked just to be sure.

"It is," Eudorus answered eating a grape, "and his younger brother Paris next to him." I refrained from commenting on how hot they were, I doubted that anyone else would appreciate it. It also didn't seem like a very professional thing to do. As Paris said something I saw Menelaus pull out a sword menacingly.

"I guess Menelaus is sore because his wife left him for Paris," one of the other soldiers murmured.

"I can see why," I muttered before I can stop myself as I finished another cup of wine.

"Don't be such a girl Maggie," Eudorus teased.

"Shut up," I punched him on the shoulder, "I'm allowed to be unlike any of you." Patroclus refilled both my goblet and his own guffawing slightly.

"Something's happening," another soldier said pointing out at the battlefield. Menelaus and Paris were squaring off in the center, both in full battle armor. Suddenly Menelaus flung his shield aside and crouched down. Then he swung for the prince. Paris dodged the first swing and the second hit his shield. But Menelaus kept coming at him. Paris finally got a couple of swings in before the two got out of each other's range but none of his swings looked all the powerful.

"Menelaus looks confident," Patroclus observed, "and the Prince seems to lack experience with a sword."

"Paris could still win," Eudorus spoke up, "Menelaus looks over confident to me. And if Paris is anything like his brother then he won't be a weakling."

"I bet Menelaus kills him," Patroclus wagers, "looser cleans the winners armor."

"Deal," Patroclus and Eudorus shook on it. Then they turned to look over at me. I threw my hands up in defeat.

"I am making no more bets," I told them sternly.

The two fighters met again. Menelaus hit Paris' shield mercilessly, over and over again, until he seemed to tire of the action and kicked at the shield.

"Zeus this is pathetic," I commented as Paris stumbled backwards somehow managing to lose his helmet in the process, "and I know pathetic."

"We know," Patroclus grinned, "we've seen you fight before." Several of the men chuckled at this and I ignored them. I looked back out to see Menelaus take Paris' shield and toss it aside. Paris lunged at the other man who grabbed the prince's arm and twisted it backwards.

"That has to be painful," I remarked. Just then Paris swung his fist at Menelaus as hard as her could. Menelaus let go of Paris and spit a mouthful of blood out.

"The boy is brave," Eudorus says, "I'll give him that. But he's a horrible fighter, he should stay away from the fighting if he can. He's even worse then you Maggie." As if to prove Eudorus' point Menelaus sliced open Paris' leg with his sword. The wounded prince began to crawl away from the advancing soldier.

"Okay," I groaned, "enough picking on Maggie because she's a terrible soldier." Out on the battlefield Paris had managed to get to his feet. He took a swing at Menelaus who knocked Paris' sword aside and then punched him in the face. Paris fell to the ground.

"Looks like I win," Patroclus said as Menelaus held his sword up to Paris' neck. But as he swung back for the killing blow Paris turned around and ran back towards the other Trojans. Then he clung to his brother's legs. "Or not," he sighed. Menelaus began ranting loudly though I couldn't quite make out the words. It sounded like he was telling Paris to fight. Agamemnon stood up and called for the army to prepare for battle.

"This is sad," I sighed still looking over at Paris, Hector, and Menelaus. Just then Menelaus attacked, ready to kill Paris once and for all.

But Hector moved too fast and rammed his own sword up into Menelaus and right through to the other side. Menelaus fell to the ground dead.

"Ha ha," I chuckled pointing at Eudorus and Patroclus, "neither of you win."

"What's going on out here?" A voice said behind us. We all turned to see Achilles standing there. He was on top of the remnants of an old building.

"Menelaus defeated Paris but before he could kill him Hector killed Menelaus so neither Eudorus or Patroclus won the bet," I summarized.

"Agamemnon will be very upset," Achilles grinned in an evil way. Then he looked down at us. "Are you drinking my wine?" Patroclus tried to hide the bottle under a plate of hard bread we'd found and I gulped down the last of the wine in my goblet.

"No," I answered after swallowing. Achilles fixed me with a look. "But if we were," I assured him, "it would be all Patroclus' fault." Patroclus gave me a look very similar to the one I had just gotten from his cousin. It occurred to me that they looked very similar. Back out on the battlefield the Greek army was charging as Hector and Paris retreated back to their army on horseback. Out on the walls of the city hundreds of archers pulled back and aimed.

"Pull back you fool," Achilles urged quietly.

The two armies literally collided. As in they crushed together and the line between the blurred and men were crawling overtop of each other.

"Now aren't you all glad we're not there?" I asked.

" No. I wish I was fighting," Patroclus replied, "I haven't been in one battle since we arrived."

"And you see that as a bad thing?" I raised my eyebrows in surprise. On the battlefield things had taken a turn for the worse for the Greek army. The archers sitting up on the walls had released their arrows which were raining down on our people.

"They have to stay out of range," Achilles was muttering to himself as he paced back and forth behind us. More arrows fell and about a hundred more soldiers went down. "Get them in line," Achilles barked.

"Look at Ajax," Patroclus said suddenly. We all looked where he was pointing to see the king, who had been taking down droves of men seconds before, facing off with prince Hector. The giant Greek had knocked the prince right off his horse! But the prince ran to fight on foot. They began to exchange blows as soldiers from both sides formed a circle around them.

"I'm not betting on this one," Eudorus muttered.

"How come I can't have a giant hammer as a weapon?" I asked eyeing Ajax's weapon as Hector narrowly dodged it.

"You're just not that good," Eudorus told me.

"You couldn't even hold that weapon up," Achilles said taking his eyes off the fight for the first time. Ajax managed to catch both of Hector's arms behind his head. Freeing one of his arms Hector slammed his head into Ajax's. The he grabbed a spear off the ground. But Ajax was too fast. He jabbed one end of his hammer into Hector's face and the prince fell to the ground.

"It's over," Patroclus commented as Ajax swung the giant hammer around for the killing blow.

"Perhaps not," Achilles murmured. A second later Achilles was proved right as Hector grabbed a shield from one of the dead Trojans and blocked the attack. Then he pulled the shield aside and stabbed Ajax right in the stomach with a spear.

But Ajax wasn't dead yet. He punched Hector in the face, even as blood spilled out of his mouth. Then he broke the end of the spear off and smacked Hector with it.

"They keep going and going…" I muttered as Ajax punched Hector again. Before Ajax could hit the prince with the end of the broken spear Hector grabbed a sword from the battlefield and thrust it into Ajax's stomach, right near the previous wound had been. "… and going, and going, and…." I kept muttering as Ajax tried to strangle Hector and Hector in turn kept pushing the sword in deeper and deeper.

Finally Ajax fell and Hector stumbled backwards, triumphant. Achilles turned and walked away.

Agamemnon called for all of the men to push forward. I knew that I wasn't much of a commander but I thought it looked bad for the Greeks and maybe they should have just cut their loses. But the King of Kings decided to push forward anyway. My guess that it was a bad idea was proved right as the front line of Greeks began to get struck by arrows for the Trojan archers positioned on the walls. Then the front line of Trojans began to push forward, forcing the Greeks to stumble backwards.

Odysseus jumped off of his chariot and sprinted over to Agamemnon's and spoke earnestly with wild gestures to him. A minute later the Greeks were retreating, back towards where we all stood watching.

"The Trojans will attack us here!" I gasped checking to see if I had any weapons on me.

"Our archers will keep them back," Eudorus waved away my concerns dismissively. He was right of course. The Trojans stayed right out of our archers' range. With that the battle ended, also we ran out of snack foods.


	6. I'm going to live!

_**Author's Note:**_

_Okay, this isn't a very long chapter, it's also not that exciting in my opinion. But I wanted to touch on the Briseis and Achilles side of the story. It won't have too much to do with Maggie but it is an important plot point so I thought she should be aware of it._

_Thank you so much to the people who reviewed the last chapter! They were Salsagirl626, Starpossum, and LOTRlover1066. You guys are the best! This chapter is dedicated to you!_

**Chapter #6:**

I was especially glad that Achilles was still refusing to let us work with the Greeks when all the soldiers were sent out to collect the dead from the field. I got the impression that Achilles wanted to send me and Patroclus out as punishment for stealing his wine. Luckily for us he was more intent on teaching Agamemnon a lesson then on teaching us a lesson.

That night we burned the bodies of Menelaus and of Ajax. Achilles went to watch his friend Ajax but didn't attend the burning of Menelaus' body. The other Myrmidons and I watched from further back, with the other soldiers. Afterward I noticed Agamemnon went into his tent accompanied by Nestor and Odysseus.

"Will we leave now?" I asked Eudorus and Patroclus.

"Menelaus won't need a wife now that he's dead," Patroclus pointed out.

"Don't be fools," Eudorus scoffed, "this has never been about Helen for Agamemnon. He wants Troy under his leadership. His brother's wife was merely an excuse, he's been looking for an opportunity to attack Troy and king Priam for years now." Eudorus left to talk to a soldier from a different group.

"I hope we don't leave," Patroclus sighed, "I couldn't bear going back without fighting a single battle."

"Why are you so intent on fighting in a battle?" I just about shouted with frustration. "I've told you a thousand times, it's not any fun!" Patroclus glared at me for a beat before replying.

"The soldiers just don't take me seriously. They don't treat me with the respect they show to him."

"Just act like Achilles," I suggested, "you look enough like him to cause the men to start treating you like Achilles if you start acting like him." Patroclus gazed over at his cousin thoughtfully.

A little bit later as I was walking back to my tent I saw a group of rowdy Greek soldiers preparing to brand a Trojan prisoner. She was a woman wearing the clothes of a priestess. I felt sorry for the poor woman and decided to try to help her.

But before I could do anything, or even come up with a plan Achilles stormed past me. He grabbed the red hot branding stick from the man who had been holding it and shoved it through his throat. Then he swung it like a sword to slash a second man's throat. Then he picked the woman up off the ground and carried her gently away. I jogged over to catch up. Hearing me behind him he turned fiercely but when he saw it was only me he kept walking the way he had been going.

"I was about to do… something along those lines." Honestly I wasn't sure what I could have done. I was slightly taken aback that Achilles was willing to kill to protect a prisoner but I wasn't about to ask any questions.

"Sure you were," he sighed. "Would you go and fetch some water, bandages, and food?"

"I can do that," I responded. "Where should I bring them?" I asked.

"To my tent," he answered.

"Oh," I said, the _So that's what this is about, _part unsaid but clearly implied.

"It's not like that," Achilles defended himself. I don't know what it was but something about his voice made me believe him. I scurried off to get the water, bandages, and food without another word. I got them to his tent just as they reached it. I set them down inside and left to go to sleep and ponder over what had happened.

When I woke up the first person I saw Eudorus. He came over to me with a serious expression.

"We are to set sail for home," he told me bluntly, "it looks as if you get your wish." I laughed with relief and gave him a hug. Eudorus pushed me off with a curse but I ignored him.

"I'm going to live," I sang causing a lot of soldiers to look our way, "I'm going to live!" With a groan Eudorus smacked me in the face.

"Stop doing that," he hissed, "you're causing a scene."

"I don't care we're going to live!" I saw Patroclus come over. "Patroclus!" I cheered, "we're going to live! I've got to go pack!" And with that I rushed off leaving the two stunned men staring after me.

As I passed by Achilles I stopped to give him a hug too. He pushed me away as well and then shot me an evil look.

"Thank you!" I cried ignoring the look. Just then Patroclus came up.

"We're going home?" he asked scornfully. It wasn't really a question though, it was obvious that Achilles was ready to leave.

"We sail in the morning," Achilles answered after a pause.

"Isn't it great?" I practically gushed.

"Shut up Maggie," both cousins growled as one.

"There's that uncanny resemblance," I muttered but then decided to stop talking.

"Greeks are being slaughtered," Patroclus continued talking to his cousin, "we can't just sail away."

"If it's fighting you still long for there will always be another war," Achilles reasoned with his cousin, "that I promise you."

"But these are our countrymen," Patroclus argued, "you betray all of Greece just to see Agamemnon fall!" He was definitely yelling now and Eudorus and I exchanged worried glances.

"Someone has to lose," Achilles shot back before stalking back into his tent. Patroclus in turn stalked back towards the boats.

"I'm just glad **we** aren't the losers," I muttered to Eudorus.

"You'll never be a great warrior," Eudorus assured me as we began to walk away.

"And I'll live the longer for it," I replied smugly. Eudorus rolled his eyes and I began humming happily under my breath.


	7. Honor And Suicide

_**Author's Note:**_

_Okay so I found a way to allow Maggie to meet all of the Trojans so getting Maggie to Troy is what this chapter is all about. It's a little weird and random but whatever, it's basically just a dream._

_Thanks for the reviews! Thanks to Queenofinsanity, Salsagirl626, BlackRosePoison-Orchid, Tookietookietookie, Sekowari, and LOTRlover1066. You guys are seriously the best!_

**Chapter #7:**

I slept lightly, too excited to be leaving the next morning. I felt as if it was too good to be true. Little did I know that it was too good to last.

Horns from all around the camp blared, announcing the arrival of the Trojan army. They had come to attack our camp. I ran out of my tent, holding my weapons and armor, and found Eudorus.

"What do we do?" I asked desperately.

"I don't know," he answered looking around wildly. We stared out as all of the sudden huge fireballs began to roll across the Greek troops and into our camp. Eudorus cursed and I borrowed a phrase I had learned from Achilles. There was mass chaos throughout the camp as fires broke out everywhere and flaming men ran around in **great** distress.

A tent near to us burst into flames and Eudorus and I rushed to get water to help put the fire out. It wasn't a large tent and between the two of us we managed to get everything under control.

The panic finally began to die away as the sun rose. And Eudorus and I, however, still didn't quite know what to do. In the distance the Trojans began beating their spears against their armor threateningly. Just then another Myrmidon rushed over to us.

"Achilles has called us to fight!" He shouted at us.

"He what?" I shrieked.

"Guess we'll have to risk our lives after all," Eudorus grinned at me as he tossed me my helmet which I had dropped. Grumbling I got ready to go try to commit suicide, also known as participating in a battle. At least now I was getting cheered for…

Being some of the last to be ready Eudorus and I were close to the end of the line, far away from Achilles who was up at the front. Before we could join him the battle began in earnest as the Trojans charged.

Somehow during the fight I ended up fighting near Odysseus. He and I one way or another began watching each other's backs as we fought off the Trojans. This battle didn't seem half as scary as the last one had been. This time there were more then fifty people fighting on our side. That helped a lot.

I noticed a Trojan about to stab Odysseus from behind so I lunged to slice at his arm. Then I felt a burning pain on the back of my head and I fell to the ground. Then everything went dark.

When I came to I couldn't tell if the battle had ended or not. All I could see was a soldier in Trojan armor standing over me with a sword in his hand.

"Parley," I muttered vaguely before slipping back into unconsciousness.

When I woke up I was in a cell, bars covering the windows and a thick door as the only way in or out. I was still in my battle armor though now without weapons. I was a little fuzzy on what had happened but I could fill in the blanks. I'd been captured by the Trojans. What I didn't know was why I wasn't dead.

Not that I was complaining…

A few minutes the door opened and a man entered with a tray of food and a pitcher. I recognized him as the man who I had seen standing over me. Now I also recognized him as Prince Hector. I didn't have the strength to be afraid. I looked over at the pitcher hopefully.

"Is there wine in there?" I asked him.

"No," he answered looking a little taken aback, "it's just some water." He put the food and water down and motioned for me to take some. I did eagerly.

"So why aren't I dead?" I asked in between bites. "And what happened in that battle-suicide thing that was going on?"

"You are a Myrmidon?" he asked ignoring me. I glared at him.

"And you're Hector of Troy," I rolled my eyes, "but I believe I asked my questions first."

"You were injured in battle though somehow ended up with the Trojan wounded," he explained, "and it is dishonorable to kill a defenseless enemy."

"Lucky me," I muttered taking a drink.

"The battle was a draw," he continued, "I fought a man I believed to be Achilles." This caught my attention and I looked back at the prince who had compassionate a heart to spare a wounded enemy. Was he really that kind? But he wasn't looking at me. "I slit the man's throat," I spit some of the water out in alarm, "but when I removed his helmet I saw that he was too young to be the man I thought he was." I put the pieces together rather quickly.

"Patroclus," I sighed sadly, "his cousin." I processed this thinking seriously. "So there was a reason other then honor for my being alive now," I guessed, "you want information about the man who certainly wants you dead now." He nodded, not looking embarrassed at all. It was probably his honesty that made me answer.

"In battle he moves as if he knows the future," I told the prince with equal honestly, "I know of no weakness that he could have, I doubt there is one. Fighting comes as easily to him as breathing comes to you and eating comes to me. I've seen you fight," I continued, "I saw you kill Ajax. You're good, gifted even. But if I was betting, which I wouldn't as I've decided never to bet again, I would put my money on Achilles."

"That's as much as I expected," he nodded. The Hector stood up to leave.

"So you kill me now?" I asked. I wished that I'd had one last goblet of wine before I was killed. It seemed very important all of the sudden.

"No," the prince answered, "I will leave word that you are not to be hurt. When the right time reveals itself I'll find a way to let you go back to your people."

"Thank you Prince Hector," I grinned seriously for once and standing attempted a bow.

"And thank you my lady," he answered with a bow that was much more elegant then mine. The he looked over at me curiously. "What is your name?"

"Maggie," I answered promptly.

"No matter what happens to me Maggie," he assured me, "you will not come to harm here in Troy." He started to leave.

"Don't fight him," I burst out. I wasn't sure why I was telling him that. I mean, this was the same man who had killed Patroclus who had probably been my best friend in this crazy world. But I was trying to help his killer anyway. "Run as far away as you can! Or better yet stay behind the walls and refuse to face him!"

"That is dishonorable," he answered as if that was the point of all there was in life.

"Forget your honor," I begged him, "I am not exaggerating about Achilles. He will kill you."

"If it weren't for my honor you would be dead," Hector reminded me as he left, closing and locking the door behind him.


	8. Coming Back To Life

_**Author's Note:**_

_So thank you so much to everyone who read the last chapter and especially to everyone who reviewed! Reviewing is good! Thanks to, Starpossum, Sekowari, Salsagirl626, and LOTRlover1066. You guys are the best! Seriously you guys have been reviewing all the chapters!_

**Chapter #8:**

I spent a lot of time thinking about Patroclus as I sat in the cell. Somehow I felt as if his pretending to be Achilles and leading the men into battle was partly my fault. I mean not entirely but in a way. What had I said to him?

_"Go dress up like your cousin and charge straight into battle tricking all of us into following you on a suicide mission!"_

No I hadn't said that, it was definitely something I would not have encouraged…

_"Just act like Achilles, you look enough like him to cause the men to start treating you like Achilles if you start acting like him."_

Yeah, I might have said that. And I could even see where he had gotten the wrong idea from my words of wisdom. Damn, Achilles would kill me if he ever found out. I would just have to avoid mentioning it. Of course in order to lie by omission to Achilles I would first have to get out of this cell in Troy.

It wasn't until the next evening that someone came back to my cell. This time it was not prince Hector, but rather his brother, prince Paris. Paris held more food and another goblet. He held these things out to me.

"My brother mentioned that you might appreciate some wine lady Maggie," he told me. His face was sad and tight.

"He fought Achilles didn't he?" I asked sadly. The prince nodded and I gulped down some of the wine. I didn't have to ask what had happened. Achilles was lethal when he fought total strangers, let alone men who had killed his cousin. "So is this my last meal prince of Troy?" There was no doubt in my mind that I was not going to be a welcome guest now that my boss had killed their prince.

"My brother told me that you helped him out and that he had promised you freedom," Paris answered, "and I'm not going to defy his wishes."

"Thank you," I smiled at him, "I have met nothing but noble men here. More in fact then I know from my own side."

"And yet you still wish to go back?" he asked as I started to devour the food. I masked the pause before my answer by chewing the food slowly.

"Some of the people there are monsters," I said slowly, "and some are my friends. And sometimes I don't even know the difference."

"Sounds confusing," the prince sympathized with me.

"You don't know the half of it-" I began.

Just then the door opened and Paris and I turned to see an elderly man wearing elegant robes in a rich blue. His face was careworn and he looked as if he would never be happy again. Paris stood up and bowed and I slowly mimicked him.

"Father," Paris said.

I thought things through at lightning speed. Or at least as the closest thing to lightning that my brain could manage. Paris was the prince so his father was the king.

"King Prian," I was trying to look smart but it back fired.

"Priam," Paris coughed, "not Prian, King Priam."

"I knew that." Neither of them were convinced but they were to gentlemanly or something to say anything about it.

"Father this is Maggie," Paris introduced me. The king looked as if he had something on his mind.

"Miss did you fight under Achilles?" Ha! Like I was going to say yes to that, Achilles had just killed this king's son. If I said that Achilles was my boss he would have my head off before I could say 'just kidding I've never met the evil killer who killed your son.' Or even the first three words of that.

"No," I said confidently. As soon as I said that king Priam's face fell.

"But you have to at least know where his tent is? I need to find him!"

"You want to kill him, don't you?" I asked softly. For some insane reason I didn't want Achilles to die. He had killed Hector, hell he had killed a lot of people, but he was still… he wasn't my friend for sure, but at least my leader.

"No," Priam told me.

"You don't want to kill the man who killed your son?" Now I was incredulous. There was no way that this man was that noble.

"He took my son's body and I want to ask him for it back," the king explained patiently.

"Good luck," I snorted. But the king looked so hopeful that I sighed. "I'll take you to Achilles." He grabbed my hand and brought it to his lips in the style of a true nobleman.

"And once you lead me to his tent I swear to the gods that I will let you go free," he vowed.

"So you really are that noble," I murmured before raising my voice, "thank you your majesty. I will surely owe you now."

"Are you ready to leave now?" He asked hopefully.

"Well," I answered, "I'm out of wine so I'm ready to leave when you are."

The king might have been old and noble but he was pretty darn good at sneaking. Better then me at the very least. He had to glare at me in a very, 'I'm a king and don't you forget it,' expression. He was wearing a heavy cloak. I had gotten one too, it was very warm. When we got to where all of the Greek tents were I showed him where Achilles' was.

I agreed to wait outside while King Priam went to talk to Achilles. But I didn't agree not to eavesdrop. For a minute there was nothing. Then I heard Achilles speak.

"Who are you?" he sounded confused. It was probably confusion that had stopped him from running Priam through with a sharp sword immediately for interrupting him.

"I have endured what no one on earth had endured before," the king of Troy said in a slow but determined voice, "I kissed the hands of the man who killed my son." I wrinkled my nose a little, who knew where Achilles' hands had been! I heard Achilles stand up.

"Priam?" he asked cautiously. There was a beat then Achilles asked another question. "How did you get in here?"

"I know my own country better then the Greeks, I think." Priam answered in a noble voice. "And I had help finding your tent from a prisoner."

"You're a brave man," Achilles told him.

For once he didn't sound spiteful or scornful in the face of authority. Imagine that? Then he kept talking.

"I could have your head on a spit in the blink of an eye." Ah, there was the Achilles I knew!

"Do you really think death frightens me now?" Priam asked in a bitter voice. "I watched my eldest son die," he continued, "watched you drag his body behind your chariot."

Great Zeus, it was a wonder I hadn't been killed in revenge after all that.

"Give him back to me," Priam begged, "he deserves the honor of a proper burial. You know that. Give him to me." By the end King Priam sounded much more… well kingly.

"He killed my cousin," Achilles argued.

"He thought it was you," Priam shot back, "How many cousins have you killed? How many sons and fathers and brother and husbands? How many, brave Achilles?"

The answer to that would of course be a very large number and I was sure that Achilles would think of that. I just hoped that the stubborn pig head would do the right thing.

"I knew your father," Priam told him, "he died before his time. But he was lucky not to live long enough to see his son fall. You have taken everything from me. My eldest son, heir to my throne, defender of my kingdom."

I hated to say it, because Paris really was a good guy, but Priam had every right to be worried now that Hector was gone. I'd bet money, despite my ban on betting, that Paris would never be a great warrior, he could certainly never defeat someone like Achilles, that I was certain of. While I had been zoned out Priam had finished speaking.

"If I let you walk out of here," Achilles was saying, "if I let you take him, it doesn't change anything. You're still my enemy in the morning."

"You're still my enemy tonight," Priam countered, "but even enemies can show respect."

"I admire your courage," Achilles told the king, "meet me outside in a moment." And then Achilles walked outside…

… and right into me.

"I should have known we wouldn't be rid of you that easily," he groaned though his eyes were joking.

"I'm going to choose to ignore that comment," I sniffed, "as you're obviously out of your mind with joy at finding me alive. I made him swear he wasn't going to hurt or kill you before I brought him here," I assured him. Achilles nodded and clapped my shoulder.

"Wait here," he ordered. I sat down as he went off around to the other side of his tent. I had only been sitting a minute when a familiar face walked over.

"Eudorus!" I cried happily giving him a hug. He was too shocked to push me off despite the fact that I knew he wanted to. Too bad for him though, as he was my only friend left so he would have to bear the brunt of my craziness.

"You're supposed to be dead!"

"Am I not?" I asked for some odd reason. He rolled his eyes. "Don't worry," I laughed, "I was only mostly dead."

"You'll have to tell me how you survived," he said sternly. Just then Achilles came back.

"Help me with this body," he said.

"He means you," I said poking Eudorus, "he ordered me to sit here."

"Both of you," Achilles called in a no nonsense voice. I groaned and followed Eudorus. Between the three of us we got the body of Hector wrapped in a blanket and attached to a chariot for Priam to bring back to Troy. Once we were finished Achilles went over to speak to Priam.

"Your son was the best I've fought," he told the King of Troy, "in my country the funeral games last for twelve days."

"It is the same in my country," Priam answered.

"Then the Prince will have that honor," Achilles promised, "no Greek will attack Troy for twelve days." Just then the prisoner girl who I remembered Achilles saving came over Priam took one look at her and his mouth fell open.

"Briseis?" The two went to each other and hugged warmly. "I thought you were dead," the king managed.

"Everybody's coming back to life tonight," I observed. Briseis stepped away from the king to look at Achilles.

"You are free," he told her. She walked over to him and looked into his eyes. "If I hurt you," the great warrior said, "it's not what I wanted." He handed her a necklace. "Go. No one will stop you. You have my word."

"Come my girl," Priam urged.

"Your highness," I said hesitantly. Priam looked over at me and I gave a small bow. "Thank you for giving me my freedom." He nodded back to me with a solemn grin.

"You're a far better king then the one leading this army," Achilles told Priam. And with that King Priam and his niece Briseis rode off into the darkness. Several Myrmidons escorted them to the edges of the camp. I turned to Achilles.

"That was a noble thing you did," he merely shrugged.

"Agamemnon will hate it," he answered flippantly as he walked away. Eudorus and I watched until he was back in his own tent.

"He loves the girl," Eudorus told me softly. I turned to the man in surprise.

"_Loves her_ loves her," I asked incredulous, "or _horny_ loves her?"

"If it were the latter I wouldn't be so worried," he sighed. I sighed too.

"Gods why does the world have to be so messed up?" I asked. Eudorus didn't have an answer.


	9. A Hypothetical Situation

_**Author's Note:**_

_Well this chapter is very short but I'm posting the next chapter tomorrow so never fear. It's getting pretty close to the end of Troy and I'm hoping that you've all enjoyed it. I have to say that this has been the hardest Maggie story to write but it's still been fun._

_Anyway I have to thank those who reviewed! Queenofinsanity, Salsagirl626, Starpossum, Sekowari, LOTRlover1066, mrs darcy, Tookietookietookie, and Girly.X.Girl. I appreciate the reviews a lot! Please review, they really help me know what works and what doesn't. Also I have an idea of what movie to do next but I would love ideas, if anyone has any._

**Chapter #9:**

As Achilles had been hoping Agamemnon was furious. That night many of us heard the sounds of him ranting and raving. I didn't even have to eavesdrop! Achilles, acting sensible for once, avoided the angry king.

I was unable to fall asleep because of a combination of the racket that Agamemnon was making and the adrenaline rush that I got being back at the camp. I wandered around the camp, not thinking about anything other then how much I wanted this war to end when I saw Odysseus. I caught up with him and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Boo!" I said. He squinted at me, clearly puzzled.

"I thought you were dead," he said finally.

"I'm a ghost," I told him, "I've decided to haunt you forever for abandoning me during that fight."

"First of all," he said tiredly running a hand through his hair, "you're clearly not a ghost and thus not dead." I huffed, annoyed with him. Why did he have to spoil my fun? "And secondly I was distracted by Achilles fighting Hector. Or rather Patroclus fighting Hector. But I am sorry."

"It's okay," I sighed, "I guess you couldn't really help it." Personally I wasn't going to fight near Odysseus ever again, I wouldn't trust him to keep me alive. Better to fight near Achilles. He wasn't trustworthy but so far he had never ditched me in the middle of a fight.

"Maggie," Odysseus said suddenly turning to me, "let's discuss a hypothetical situation."

"Umm," I said unsure, "okay."

"Let's pretend that you were having a fight with someone."

"About what?"

"It's not important," he answered me with a wave of his hand.

"Yes it is," I argued, "I mean did they insult me, or play a mean practical joke on me, or break my chariot, or steal my food, or -?"

"They stole your food," Odysseus said, interrupting me.

"Those bastards!" I cried, caught up in the moment.

"Yeah," Odysseus looked a little scared, "exactly. Anyway they stole your food and they won't give it back."

"They didn't eat it?"

"No…"

"How they mock me!"

"Right… anyway… The two of you have been fighting for a while. It's been really fierce and neither of you seemed like giving in. Then one day they leave a gift on your doorstep and move to the next town. What do you do with the gift? Do you throw it away or bring it into your house?" I thought long and hard. Okay, not really, it didn't seem like a hard question.

"I'd bring it in," I answered. He grinned broadly.

"We might just win this war yet!" He cheered clapping my shoulder as he ran off.

"I don't get it!" I called after him.


	10. Really Bad Things Happen To Maggie

_**Author's Note:**_

_So here's chapter number ten! Wow, it really has been fun. There will probably be only two more chapters. I hope everyone likes the end chapters._

_A huge thank you to the people who reviewed between when I posted yesterday and when I posted today! You guys are the best, LOTRlover1066, September Blue Moon, Starpossum, and Salsagirl626. Thanks for all the reviews!_

**Chapter #10:**

That night Odysseus set all of the soldiers to work breaking apart the boats. This news distressed me.

"If we break the boats," I tried to reason with him, "then we won't be able to go home."

"We need the wood to build a giant horse," Odysseus explained.

"But Odysseus," I said in a slow voice so that he would understand, "horses cannot walk on water. Besides, if it is made of wood then even though it looks like a horse it still won't be able to move on it's own." Odysseus turned and stared at me as if **I** was the idiot in the conversation. Can you believe it?

"We're not going to use the giant horse to go home," he told me, "we're going to give it to the Trojans."

"But I want to go home!" I whined in a loud, annoying voice that caused a lot of people to turn and stare.

"We're not destroying all of the boats," he explained rolling his eyes, "just some. Once we've won the war then we can take some of the Trojans boats for everyone whose boat was used to make the giant horse."

"Well I'd love to help you out," I lied, "but Achilles hasn't said that we could be part of the army again." Truthfully I didn't think he'd care but I just didn't want to do the work. I left Odysseus and found Eudorus. I plopped down next to him in the sand.

"You know," I told him smugly, "I helped Odysseus come up with his big plan."

"No you didn't," he scoffed, "he tested his theory out on you." This was basically the truth but my way sounded better. Just then Achilles came over. Eudorus went to stand up but Achilles grabbed his shoulder to keep him sitting down. Then he sat down next to us.

"Forgive me Eudorus," he said, "I should never have struck you. You've been a loyal friend all your life."

"I hope I never disappoint you again," Eudorus said to Achilles.

"It's I who have been the disappointment," he assured Eudorus.

"What about me?" I asked. Achilles looked over at me for a second.

"Umm," he said uncertainly, "once in a while you really tried out there."

"Is that the best you can do?" I asked insulted.

"It's not like you ever did anything daring or bold to prove that you were actually a warrior." I was very insulted. I mean really, didn't I get points for showing up at this stupid war? And I fought in two of the battles and I only got captured once. It really wasn't that bad of a record, I hadn't even died!

I was so incredibly insulted in fact that I walked away without hearing what else Achilles said. Instead I wandered over to Achilles' tent and raided his food and wine supply. Then I took them back to my tent in order to relax after a trying couple of days.

I slept in late the next day. I had finally gotten a good night's sleep, with the help of the excellent food and wine I had snitched from Achilles.

It wasn't until close to midday when the slight hangover ended and I decided to take a nice walk on the beach. Construction on Odysseus' giant horse was going right on schedule. The sun was shining and the seagulls were calling merrily. All in all it was a beautiful day. Then I saw Achilles. He openly stared at me in shock.

"What are you doing here?" he asked loudly.

"Well," I said slowly not quite sure how to reply, "I was brought here to fight a war but I'm pretty sure you knew that. If you're talking philosophically then the answer is a little more complicated-"

"No you idiot!" he yelled interrupting me. "That not what I mean at all! I just sent Eudorus and the rest of the Myrmidons home last night! You were supposed to go with them!"

I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach and the beautiful sunny beach began to sway. The next thing I knew everything was tilting sideways and I had fainted. The last thing I heard was the sound of the stupid seagulls cawing with laughter.

Forget whatever nice things I said about them, they were evil creatures.


	11. Troy Burns

**Author's Note:**

_Next chapter is going to be the last one and the one where we find out where Maggie's going next. I hope that people have enjoyed this story and that some of you will follow Maggie into her fourth night. Thanks for reading and especially for reviewing! Thank you_ _Salsagirl626, Starpossum, LOTRlover1066, Queenofinsanity, Girly.X.Girl, Sekowari, and Nausicaa of the Spirits. Thanks a lot! You are all awesome!_

**Chapter #11:**

Since Achilles had made a deal not to attack Troy for twelve days I had some time to kill while waiting for the battle that I would get to be in now that I'd not left with the Myrmidons. Most of that time I spent walking around in a haze muttering. Some of these mutterings included:

"… don't see how they could miss the fact that I wasn't on the boat. I'm the only girl for crying out loud!"

"Stupid men and their gods cursed fascination with hacking at each other with pointy objects!"

"I will never drink wine again. I will never drink wine again. I will never drink wine again. I will never drink wine again."

Plus a few deranged comments about killing seagulls. All in all I was not a happy camper… (err soldier I guess). Neither, to my great surprise, was Achilles. He spent an annoying amount of time sitting by himself and staring out at the sea with an intense look on his face.

"Why so glum?" I asked him one day. "You get to participate in a battle, you ought to be jumping up and down with joy." Achilles fixed me with a glare. "Or whatever you do to express happiness."

"I care not for the battle anymore," he said, "I'm going into that city for one reason. To save Briseis." I decided that it was pointless to point out that as Priam's niece she had the whole Trojan army to protect her. Then Achilles said something that really shocked me. "I'm also going to die in that city."

"That's two reasons to go into the city," I pointed out. "And you are not going to die."

"You don't know a lot," was all he said. I resented it though he may have had a tiny point.

I also spent a lot of time before the battle talking with Odysseus. He was a really smart guy, even if I wouldn't trust him to watch my back during a fight. He spoke a lot about how much he missed his wife and son.

After what seemed like a year the big day came. The giant horse was finished, bodies of men who had died of disease were left to throw the Trojans off, and the boats were moved to a hidden cove.

"I guess you need someone to guard the boats during this big battle," I said to Odysseus and Achilles, "it would have to be someone really brave. I know! Me!" The two men exchanged exasperated looks.

"You're going to be in the battle," Achilles told me with a grin.

"You can stay with me," Odysseus assured me.

"No offence," I said apologetically, "but last time I fought with you I ended up dead. I'm sticking with Achilles." Achilles sighed as if some great burden had just been placed upon him while Odysseus clapped his back reassuringly.

Being inside of the horse and waiting for the Trojans to come was boring and cramped.

"I don't like this," I whined for about the thousandth time, "it's too small and I'm dieing of sunstroke as we speak."

"Shut up," several people growled. I thought I heard someone mutter that they would love to see me die of sunstroke but I'm sure I was mistaken about that. I sighed and went back to waiting for the Trojans to arrive. Finally we heard people talking outside.

"Plague," one man said, "don't get too close my king." I wondered if the bodies really did have the plague and if I was in danger of getting it. I wanted to ask but I doubted that any of the soldiers would know the answer to a medical question, (or any question that involved things other then how to kill).

"This is the will of the gods," someone else said. Actually it was the will of Agamemnon and he was king but he was not a god. "They desecrated the temple of Apollo, and Apollo desecrated their flesh." I sent up a quick prayer to the sun god to remind him that I hadn't done any desecrating and so there was really no reason to punish little old me.

"They thought they could come here and sack our city in a day," the first man said, "now look at them, fleeing across the Aegean." Wrong! I only wished we were fleeing, hell I would trade anything to travel back in time. I would pick my hung over self up and drag myself onto that ship.

"What is this?" Priam asked.

"An offering to Poseidon," well it took them long enough to get around to the giant horse sitting in front of them, "the Greeks are praying for a safe return home." And how right he was! I'd been praying for that since we started. "This is a gift. We should take it to the temple of Poseidon."

"I think we should burn it," I heard Paris say.

"Oh no," I whispered making to stand up, "I'm getting out of here."

"Be quiet you fool," Achilles hissed.

"They're going to burn us," I insisted coming close to hyperventilating, "we're all going to die."

Suddenly I felt something heavy collide with the back of my head and everything went dark.

When I came to Achilles and Odysseus were talking above me.

"You shouldn't have hit her this hard," Odysseus was saying, "she still hasn't come to and it's time for us to make our move."

"I didn't think I had hit her that hard," Achilles was defending himself, "I figured she probably had a really hard head."

"You hit me?" I asked furiously sitting up.

"Well…"

"He had no other choice," Odysseus explained, "you were going to give everything away. Though it's a shame you missed it. They celebrated us all day."

"But now it's night and we have to go," Achilles said. "Are you ready?"

"If I said no would I be able to skip the battle?"

"No."

"Then I'm ready."

We opened the panels and lowered ropes so that we could get down. Achilles and I were among the first to get down. He led the way and we ran off in the opposite direction, straight towards the palace.

People threw themselves out of our way as we ran up stairs and through crowed streets. Achilles was much faster then me so I was having trouble keeping up. A dull light at our backs told us that the Greek army had started setting fire to Troy.

We reached a wall that was blocking our path towards the palace.

"We'll have to go around," I panted.

"There's not enough time," he said shortly. Then he began to scale the wall.

"Zeus," I groaned as I followed him, "I'm not getting paid enough for this. Wait what are you paying me?"

"Don't ask," he grunted.

Achilles reached the top and, without bothering to lend me a hand, drew his sword. I struggled onto the ground and drew mine as well. A Trojan soldier spotted us, pointing and calling out. Suddenly Achilles grabbed me and threw me into a wall. He pressed himself against the wall as well and held his hand out, a signal for 'wait'.

A second later the first soldier had gone right passed us and Achilles pounced. The next second both of the soldiers were on the ground.

"Briseis, where is she?" he asked pointing his sword at them. "Where!"

"I don't know," the one soldier gasped, "Please, I have a son!"

"Then get him out of Troy," Achilles told the man.

Just then another soldier came through the doorway, heading for Achilles whose back was still turned. But the man hadn't noticed me. Lacking the time for thinking I tackled the man to the ground. Achilles spun and struck the man with his sword.

"How's that for daring?" I asked Achilles as we continued to run.

"You tackled the man when you had a sword in your hand," he pointed out. "I swear I don't know how you survive battles."

"It's a mystery," I informed him cheerfully, "and not one that I ever want to dig into."

We continued to run, Achilles shouting Briseis and me just doing my best to keep up. Now people didn't get out of our way. Chaos was all around and people barely noticed us as we ran through the crowds, clearly going in the wrong direction to escape the burning city.

Just then I ran head on into a fleeing Trojan. Their eyes widened when they saw my uniform and they took off running. I picked myself up off the ground and looked around. I couldn't see Achilles anywhere, he had disappeared in the chaos.

Okay I admit it, I panicked completely. I mean, put yourself in my shoes, (or in this case sandles). I was not that great a fighter and right now I wasn't even sure which side was going to try to kill me. The city was burning and I was lost. They really should have little maps laying around with little stickers telling the reader where they were.

"Achilles where are you?" I shouted as I ran. Hoping that he was close by I ran up a flight of stairs onto an over hanging porch and scanned the area. I saw a familiar figure, no actually two familiar figures. One was Briseis, the person Achilles was looking for. The other was Agamemnon, the evil king himself. He was holding Briseis by the throat.

"Maggie!" It was Achilles, he was at the bottom of the stairs shouting up.

"Briseis is over there," I pointed, "Agamemnon's there too!" He took off. But before I could run after him I saw Briseis pull a knife from somewhere and stab Agamemnon in the neck. He collapsed, kneeling before her and looking up in shock. She removed the knife and tried to run as Agamemnon fell to the ground, obviously dead.

He wouldn't be coming back to life like I had. Now I knew why Achilles liked this girl so much. She had just killed the person he hated most in the whole world. One of the Greek soldiers grabbed her and threw her into the arms of another one.

The soldier pulled his sword back, ready to kill her, and I froze in terror.

… look we've already been over this. I am not a good soldier and thus not a hero!

But Achilles was a great soldier and a pretty good hero. He sliced the one soldier's throat before the guy had even realized he was there. The other he ran right through. Achilles went to help Briseis up. All of the sudden she screamed.

"Noooooo!" I looked around wildly and saw that Paris had come up.

The prince of Troy had fired his arrow before I'd even had a chance to blink.

"Paris no!" Briseis shouted as Achilles looked around. Then Paris fired again. He may be a prince but he did not listen to directions well.

I finally got my legs to move. I ran down the stairs. I heard Briseis pleading with Paris to stop but I still heard the swish and thunk of yet another arrow hitting its target. I came up behind Paris.

"Stop please!" Briseis shouted as she got up off the ground.

Paris fired another arrow.

"Paris don't!" She yelled coming right up to her cousin.

… and of course Paris fired yet another bolt into Achilles' chest.

"Hey," I yelled from behind him, "I think you've hit him already." Achilles fell to the ground and Briseis ran over to him. Paris looked at me with a haunted expression.

"He killed my brother," he said softly.

"And your brother killed his cousin," I countered, "you weren't there, we had this conversation already. The basic conclusion we arrived at was that killing is bad and yet unavoidable."

"I'm not sorry I killed him," Paris told me. I nodded.

"I didn't think that you would be." I could hear screams in the distance and remembered about the whole, city was in the process of burning to the ground thing. "You should take Briseis and run," I told him, "I won't tell the other Greeks which way you went. I'll tell them I didn't see anything."

"Thank you," he said.

"I owed you," I shrugged, "good luck." He took a crying Briseis and the two of them ran off. Less then a minute after they had gone the Greek soldiers came up behind me.

Then everything went black and I woke up back in my bed.


	12. A New Movie

**Chapter #12:**

"How are you feeling today Maggie?" my mother asked as I came down to the kitchen table the next morning. She sounded hesitant and almost afraid to know the answer. I sighed loudly as I poured myself a glass of milk.

"I'm not crazy."

"No ones saying that honey," she rushed to assure me, "we're all just very concerned. That's all. We don't think you're crazy."

"I do," Michel told me as he came down and stuck a piece of bread in the toaster.

"But I'm not crazy! What I said, it's all true!" I was very frustrated. They all avoided my eyes and my mother muttered something about how it was a good thing she'd written that therapist's number down. "I hope you all break television sets!" And with those final words I stomped out of the kitchen.

Then I stomped back in to retrieve the milk that I'd left. After I had it I re-stormed out of the room and went to my bedroom.

I had a lot of homework to do for school the next day though I had no intention of doing it. There was no way I was going to waste an excuse like, "_I got knocked unconscious and had to spend most of my weekend at the hospital_." So instead I decided to read some books.

For some odd reason I couldn't face the idea of watching a movie, it would be too much stress for my rather fragile mind.

I didn't do all that much during the day and I decided that since I had school the next day it would be better to go to bed early and get the dream/movie over with.

As I drifted off to sleep my eyes fell on my collection of DVDs. They were arranged on shelves next to my books, originally they'd been in order based on my favorites but I'd changed my mind so many times that now the order was almost completely random. I didn't even want to guess what my next torture would be but I was very curious.

I didn't have to wait long. Soon I was drifting off to sleep. At first I didn't even know that I had fallen asleep. Then I got a clue.

Philo Farnsworth was standing there in front of me.

"Don't you ever take a night off?" I asked.

"Never," he replied cheerfully, "I love my job." There were a few minutes of silence as I tried to wake myself up and he watched, clearly amused. "You can't wake up until the movie is over." I sighed loudly.

"Well what movie is it then?"

"Your movie tonight," he told me, "is Mulan. You'll be working as a weapon repairs person traveling with the army."

"What?" I stared at him in shock. "I haven't even seen that movie in years! How can I be going there? Wait isn't that a cartoon?" The man shrugged.

"Hey it's one of **your** favorite movies."

"Isn't that a cartoon?" I repeated desperately.

"Yes it is," Philo Farnsworth said seriously.

"But won't I stand out if I'm the only three dimensional person?"

Philo Farnsworth didn't say anything. All he did was smile. Somehow this smile sent a chill down my spine and I just knew what was going to happen. I looked down at my hands and saw that sure enough they had become illustrated and flat.

"Shit!"

_**Author's Note:**_

_Okay well, thank you all for reading! I've had a lot of fun with Troy and I hope that you all have really enjoyed the story. I know that Mulan is quite a jump, (R to G and all that). It just seemed like an interesting place to take Maggie, being animated and full of singing, (I don't think that Maggie can sing). But I hope that some of you will have been entertained by this story enough to read When You Break A TV Night #4, (to be published sometime in October if I'm very lucky)._

_Thank you to everyone who reviewed! Or at least the two people who reviewed… Anyway thanks to Salsagirl626, and Starpossum. Thanks very much! And thank you to everyone who read!_


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